Strategies for a strong, lasting relationship

Friends often discuss the secret to a long and functioning relationship and I get asked this a lot, too. Let me be honest here: I’ve had a couple of long-term relationships but I’m still no expert...

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but there is no secret formula that works wonders. We all have different needs and expect different things from a long-term relationship but there might be one thing we seem to agree on: keeping the relationship exciting is of crucial importance. But how do we do that? Well, opinions seem to differ on that front.

Do we use tactics, tricks or certain techniques when it comes to relationships? Or do you call them strategies? Whichever you prefer they both mean the same thing: a carefully planned course of actions to achieve a specific end. There seems to be a difference though: tactics or tricks usually refer to playing games or deceiving someone while strategies or techniques seem to be a more honest approach. If your goal is to build an honest relationship based on trust and respect, I suggest you stay away from trickery. There is a fine line between using strategies and resorting to deception, I admit that. Many play games from the minute they meet their partner, acting all innocent and different or trying to behave insincerely to gain their partner’s, friends’ or their parents’ approval. Be careful with that. Making someone like you is not that challenging but keeping them around is… There comes a point when you cannot hide any longer.

So I suggest you turn to strategies or techniques that create a strong, intimate relationship - a relationship that is built to last. It requires both of you to be intentional and creative but it never makes the other person question your intent. Spiritual, physical or financial gains are never good motives - building a future is. True love tries to please, encourage and lift up the other person even after all those years. It takes time and it takes effort but it is totally worth it. I know that we act all tough and our schedules are busier than ever but if you miss out on keeping the fire alive, your relationship won’t last. Taking things for granted leads to boredom, and boredom leads to dissatisfaction which leads to unhappiness and, eventually, another person.

So once you find the person you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, do your part in keeping the spark alive even after the honeymoon stage is over. But stay away from playing games. Be honest and be yourself. And do not settle even if it feels lonely sometimes. I know it sounds so cliche but find someone who loves you for who you are. Don’t settle.

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