Thank u, next

I couldn’t believe it was over… You left and that was it. Forever.

You took my pain with you: all those tears, uncertainty, nervous breakdowns, exhaustion, anxiety and the disappointment, the lies… It was all gone. The flames of hell were quenched. I used to feel down, helpless and alone and I gave up all hope.

I’m not ashamed to say I gave up. There was a time in my life when I felt isolated. I was trying to find where I belonged but it felt impossible. I thought I’d never find myself again. I thought I’d never find love, happiness and rest.

I had to face situations I wasn’t prepared for. I was definitely not ready to face them on my own. I remember feeling lonely and hopeless like an abandoned puppy. I lost all hope. I lost my trust and I couldn’t believe in love any longer. And you surrounded me with liars who had no problem deceiving me.

I found myself in a tornado of heartbreak: the emptiness it left me with was so hard to deal with, it took me months to get out of under the ruins of my life. That made me lose hope and I gave up. I couldn’t take it anymore, I just wanted it all to end.

I was devastated for months. But then I realized your wicked little games were over. I couldn’t believe it! But as the weeks went by and you were not there to hurt me, I was hoping you were done with me. And you were.

And now, I’m grateful. I’m grateful I got to meet you. I never thought I’d say this but I learned so much because of you. And for that, I’m grateful.

I learned that it’s OK to make mistakes. Mistakes are lessons to be learned. I learned that the mistakes I make can only be rectified by me even if it hurts like hell.

I also learned that pain is not that bad. Pain is something I can deal with and I can come out on top. It’s really not as bad as it seems. I learned to let go. And I learned not to associate with toxic people.

And the way I see things now, I honestly believe you didn’t mean to hurt me, you were supposed to help me learn. I think you knew I’d see right through you and figure out what’s best for me. Now I know I needed to learn these things.

And now I see you as a person who was a part of me but is my past now - all the good and the bad things are all the past. They’re gone. So is my anger. I forgave you. And I’m grateful for you.

I’m grateful for the good times and for the friends I met through you.

I’m also grateful for all the bad for I am who I am today because of what happened to me, because of the things I went through. I am now stronger than ever, I’m full of hope and I’ve found my purpose in life. I have so much to live for.

And for that, I’m grateful. Good bye now.

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