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  3. I'm in love with an introvert 

I'm in love with an introvert 

  • September 21, 2019
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We're so different - maybe that's why we attract each other so strongly. I'm mesmerized by his quietness, his inscrutability - it's not like that annoying, intentional kind of unpredictability; it's something different. I don't mean to analyze him or label him an "introvert", he's just so different, so unique, with his inquiring eyes and soft voice. 

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It's not his time. Western civilization celebrates extroverts in the 21th century. It's all about being here and there and everywhere, we're constantly communicating and we're busy as a bee building our social networks. We have this constant urge to be somewhere and be well-informed and in the center of everything - otherwise you risk being forgotten. If you're not in it, you're missing out on it, and introverts often find themselves left out.

Today everything is so loud and busy and it's for people living outwardly and having a talent for self-fulfillment. We are expected to be friendly, talkative, and humorous all the time. You know, just be cool. If there's no noise, we make some; we can't even enjoy quietness any more. Tranquility is boring, the feeling of "nothing-is-happening" makes us demotivated; we have this unquenchable thirst for danger and sensation. We waste our time on people wasting our time, our energies on relationships that suck the life out of us, and our tears on hopeless causes.

We're so different - maybe we can't even be happy together. We wants to stay when I want to go; he'd rather be quiet when I want to talk. He wants to focus all his attention on one person; I want to be there for everybody. He's all in when it comes to relationships. He does not have shallow friends, he hates small talk, and he stays away from useless love affairs. He knows how to let go, no one wastes his time. He's a ride or die; he wants all of me or nothing at all. He wants to have all of me: my heart, my body, my mind, my future. Or he'd rather let me go so we stop wasting our time. I know that there will be a moment when I'll make him mine and he will feel responsible for me forever. I'll be the only one for him, I just have to give him time - he'd never make a hasty decision. He’s not a “you-only-live-once” kind of guy.

He knows how to give me the attention I need. If he falls in love with me, he'll always be there for me, he'll listen and I will have his undivided attention. He's not much of a talker, he never talks about his feelings, but his actions speak much louder than his words. Instead of saying "I love you", he'd rather show he does love me: his actions show he's not afraid of love or commitment.

For him, "me time" is of crucial importance, that's how he recharges; in peace, away from it all. No noise, no flashing lights, no people. If you want him, you need to respect this. He's not a jealous type, he loves without making me his captive, he lets me go, but not too far so that I could always get back to him. He gives me the gift of being on my own, he doesn't suffocate me or suck the life out of me. He lets me build myself up.

An introverted man is not a complete stranger, nor a big-headed snob. He doesn't strive to be the heart and soul of every party, but he’s a natural leader when surrounded by the right people. He's not a macho with a thousand friends; he’s not the one who always knows a guy. He only has a few friends, but puts quality over quantity every time. He values reliability and tradition. He pays real attention to those with whom he connects, but doesn't feel the need to connect with everybody.

Being an introvert does not equal to being shy. Introverted men can be extremely manly. If I capture his heart, I'll be the only one for him. He might not be quick to commit, but when he does, he'll be all in.

I might want busyness and flashing lights sometimes, he'd rather spend time looking at a river. He urges me to declutter my friends as he sees some of them come and go. He wants to love me quietly, so that his actions would speak for him, I'd proclaim my love for him from the rooftops. I would never stop talking, but he’d rather tell me everything I need to know with his touch. I'd go, he'd rather stay. I'm over it, he's still processing it. Can we be happy?

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