Problems only women can understand
There are things only we can understand, and some that even we can’t understand, but sticking together is the best policy. May we stand together in all the good, the bad, the crazy and the those hormonal times
1. Trying to pee in a public bathroom wearing high heels. I can’t believe no one has come up with a solution for this. It is a well-known fact that we never sit down on a public toilet seat and this situation needs a solution ASAP.
2. You’re hungry all the time but regret eating as soon as you finish your meal. Feeling bad about devouring everything in sight lasts until you get hungry again - so you eat again and feel bad immediately after that. Again.
3. You desperately need a new bathing suit but trying on swimwear is the most awful thing ever, so you get dressed and go home empty handed and buy a ton of ice cream to get over how awful the whole thing was. How can changing room lights make you look three times bigger than you actually are?!
4. Movies make taking a shower so sexy but no one showers like that IRL. Styling your hair takes about 48 extra minutes so instead of acting out a scene from Flashdance, you go for looking weird and trying to shower with your head bent as much as possible to avoid getting your hair wet. It’s OK. We’ve been there.
5. Your date tells you he just broke up with his girlfriend. There’s nothing more rewarding than spending hours and hours getting ready and trying to carry out a decent adult conversation only to find out you’re about to be someone’s rebound. Thank you, next.
6. Getting dressed either takes two minutes or three hours. There is no in-between.
7. When you’re not wearing makeup, everyone thinks you’re sick but when you do have makeup, someone will surely tell you that you’re so much prettier without makeup.
8. When you have a cart full of clothes but you change your mind because the site is asking you to sign in, and we all know what a faff signing in is, plus there’s no way all those clothes would actually fit you since sizing is apparently something drunk monkeys do with their eyes closed.
9. "I wish I were as thin as I was the last time I thought I was fat"
10. Looking good and not freezing your tits off do not go together. There is no good decision here. You’ll regret whatever you decide to do and you’ll either envy someone’s bravery to show their ankles or their wise decision to wear a parka.
11. The disappointment you feel when you’d waxed your entire body only to watch him fall asleep on you that night.
12. Also, how could he not want you? How come it’s not you saying no? Doesn’t he like you anymore? Is he gay or what? Or is he just tired? Or is he actually GAY?
13. Nothing that you need for survival fits in your clutch so you end up making decisions you know you’ll regret. Remember when it was pouring down with rain but you had no umbrella? Or that time you had to beg for change because you didn’t have your wallet and cloakroom attendant didn’t take a credit card? Also, putting your keys in your bra is not a good idea.
14. When your bff has gone insane and fallen in love with a douche and every attempt of yours to save her will make her push you away and there’s nothing you can do. He can’t be that good looking...
15. There’s nothing more embarrassing than asking a person you don’t really want to ask for a tampon or a sanitary pad, a deodorant or some painkillers to soothe period cramps. But you know what they say… Desperate times call for desperate measures.
16. No sports bra will keep your boobies from going out on their own as you exercise. If you have rather small boobs, this is something you can’t understand so just know that the girl you envy is trying to fight it as she’s running on the treadmill.
17. When your loving and caring boyfriend has just ghosted you and your friends tell you nothing but clichés like “he’s such a jerk” or “you deserve better” - that is all true but they don’t explain anything.
18. There are group photos where everyone looks great. And there are those group photos where everyone looks great except you. But it doesn’t matter because the person who took it thinks it’s a great photo so it will be up EVERYWHERE.
19. No matter how independent you are, there are times when you just need a man. Things don’t fix themselves and all those heavy boxes will not magically carry themselves into the living room, so puppy eyes it is.
20. Getting yourself in a dress is hard. Especially if it involves a zipper on the back of the dress.
21. In a world where every house looks perfect on Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest and everybody seems to know the secret of making a perfect creme brulée and can get a red wine out of a white carpet in seconds, it’s pretty discouraging to see you can’t even make a frozen pizza and the shirt you washed at 4o degrees still shrunk to the size of a baby’s vest.
22. When you finally try a new look using a makeup tutorial from a magazine or a YouTube video and you end up looking like Nicki Minaj in Rupaul’s Drag Race… Yes, that new bloody expensive highlighter was totally worth it.
23. Despite reading all the tips out there, you find wearing high heels is impossible. You try doing it time and time again but you end up going home early because you’re just too old for this - or because you want to avoid murdering someone for their seat at the bar.
24. Spending a longer period of time with a guy can be a tricky thing, especially when you’re having digestive issues. It takes serious organization and manipulation skills to make sure you can be alone to take care of certain things… It always seems too soon to let out a fart in front of him, doesn’t it?
25. Spending an hour styling your hair only to find out it’s raining outside is disappointing to say the least. Nothing destroys a cute outfit like frizz, flatness and tangles.
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